Breaking Free From Digital Distractions and Alcohol: 5 steps to Self-Discipline & Healthy Habits
Do you struggle with scrolling on your phone and saying no to that glass of wine or cocktail or three that you said you wouldn’t drink?
If so, this blog post is for you. It will give you 5 steps to:
break your phone addiction
say no to alcohol going forward
Step 1. Forgive yourself. You are not alone in struggling with this.
Recently, while I was interviewed for a piece in The Times about breaking bad habits, I was struck by how many of the questions focussed on how to stop scrolling and drinking alcohol. Having answered those questions I looked around me and saw that many of my friends, family, and people I speak to on social media each day were wanting to know the answer to these questions too.
It seems that summer, a time when many of us assume we will suddenly be healthy, happy, and somehow totally different, often leads us to realise that little changes month-to-month unless we actively make those changes happen.
AND summer sometimes causes us to overindulge a little in certain habits that can be detrimental to our well-being. Likely because we want to be plugged into what everyone else is doing with their time off in the sun, and because when the sun is out it feels like a time to celebrate (or if you are in the rainy UK, and the sun hasn’t shone, it may feel like a time to commiserate) meaning surely its time for a cocktail? No?
So… step one, notice if you are beating yourself up for the scrolling or the drinking and say to yourself “This is not a time for self-criticism. I am not the only person who struggles with this, and, if I can be kind to myself I will be more likely to make the changes I really want to see as I will feel motivated and not beaten up”.
Step 2. Get to know the cues that are causing you to scroll or drink
Sometimes we reach for our phones, or glass of wine or cocktail, because we truly want to. We want to call a loved one or share in a post-work drink with our friends after a hard week.
Other times, we do this mindlessly. We find ourselves phone or glass in hand not because we wanted either of these things but because we saw something in our environment or felt something inside us that triggered a craving, an urge that we couldn’t ignore that compelled us to take action.
So… step 2, spend the next 24 hours paying attention to what happened just before you reached for your phone or the alcohol, and what happened afterward too. Write each cue and response you observe in a list.
For example:
Did you reach for your phone because you heard your phone buzz? Or because you were bored or stressed? How did you feel afterwards? Did you feel connected, stimulated, or amused?
Did you have alcohol because you saw a bottle and thought why not? Because you were offered it? Or because you were lonely, upset, or simply because it’s Friday and thats what you always do on a Friday? After you had the drink, how did you feel? Happier, less stressed, like you were celebrating?
The more comprehensive your list is, the more quickly you will get in charge of your scrolling and your drinking habits.
Step 3. Remove cues from your environment that are triggering old habits
Look through your list of cues that cause you to scroll on your phone or drink alcohol. You will notice that they fall into two categories, cues that are in your environment (e.g. things you see, people who are associated with the activity) and those that are internal (e.g. emotional states such as stress).
Circle the environmental cues and write next to each one what you will do to remove or modify that cue as best you can.
For example:
The most simply way to decrease your phone use is to make sure that your phone is out of sight any time you do not need to use it, or at least make sure all notifications are switched off if you can’t hide it away.
The most simple way to decrease your alcohol consumption is to remove all alcohol from the house replacing it with delicious alternatives. But it could also involve walking a different way home from work so that you don’t walk past the pub that usually draws you in.
Both of these suggestions are so simple that people often ignore this suggestion not realising they are unintentionally setting themselves up for failure.
Step 4. Plan how you will address the internal cues that cause you to scroll or drink.
Next to the cues that are internal or emotional, write down what you will do to meet those needs another way.
For example:
If boredom leads you to reach for your phone, establish a new activity to replace it, like getting up from your desk and stretching anytime you notice boredom sneaking in. The key is to practice this new activity consistently. Even if you find yourself scrolling through your phone, immediately switch to your stretching routine. Over time, the boredom cue will become linked to stretching, eroding the old habit of excessive phone checking.
If loneliness causes you to reach for your phone or to drink, decide to use your cravings as a sign it is time to connect to others either through calling them, arranging to meet up with them, or finding a group activity that already exists that you can become part of (Meetup.com has lots of options you can choose from).
A common cause of all the habits we want to kick is stress. If it isn’t on your list of cues, ask yourself if it should be. Then, if stress causes you to drink, learn other coping mechanisms that can help you manage the stress in your life. If you don’t know where to start with this, follow this link for 6 ways to manage anxiety or 2 proven ways to relax. Practice these consistently to lower stress overall, and when the urge to drink arises.
Step 5. Put all of this into practice and don’t get discouraged when you fall back into your old ways.
You have made your plan. Now it is time to remove the cues from your environment; write your plans on post-it notes and keep them somewhere you can see so that you know exactly what to do when a pesky urge does arise; and get doing those things!
Decide now that you will forgive yourself when you find yourself back in an old behaviour. See those moments as opportunities for learning. What happened to cause you to do this? Was it that there was another cue you hadn’t accounted for? Is there a person you always scroll or drink with? Did a belief such as, “It's not that bad if I do this” pop up meaning you let yourself off the hook before you even tried? If it's another cue, add it to your list and decide how to tackle it. If it is a belief, get really clear on why you are trying to change this behaviour in the first place so you can counter any “it’s not that bad thoughts going forwards”.
That’s it for now:
These are your first steps to taking back control over your phone and drinking habits.
They are not a quick fix, but as long as you practice, practice, practice, they will get you to where you want to be.
If you are ready for more, and want to do a deep dive to clean up your habits, self sabotage, and beliefs that get in the way of making change in your life… grab a copy of my book '(Un)Stuck: 5 Steps to Break Bad Habits and Get Out of Your Own Way.' It delves into more comprehensive techniques and insights that will empower you to take control of your habits and lead a more fulfilling life.
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